When we experience disappointment, loss, or trauma, finding meaning in our pain helps us accept and integrate what we’ve gone through. Resilient individuals trust there’s a gift, lesson, or opportunity in every challenging situation
The ability to be vulnerable, connect, and ask for help:
Support and connection are essential for surviving a difficult time, yet connection is dependent on vulnerability. Unfortunately many of us, particularly men, are socialized to appear strong and composed even when in the midst of chaos. Remove your mask and reap the benefits.
A supportive relationship with oneself:
When we’re supportive and encouraging to ourselves in response to disappointment and failure, we bounce back more easily; alternatively, when we criticize and undermine ourselves, we struggle with forgiving ourselves and moving one when things don’t go according to plan.
A sense of humour:
If your story were made into a movie, what parts might evoke sympathetic laughter in a theatre? If you were recounting your experience to a friend, what could you make light of? Look for satirical and entertaining pockets in the pain.
Equanimity:
Equanimity, defined as “mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation,” is essentially nonreactivity. It’s the product of mindfulness–observing our experience with acceptance and compassion and without reactivity. The more we practice mindfulness, the less fazed we are by the emotional roller coaster of life.
